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July 2, 2010
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You just don't know how precious you are.
Wicked eyes drawn at me like enquires looking for answers.
Dancing smile saying what cannot be said.
One lip at a time plus a wink in a while.
Nosy you are and nosy you'll be, but for me it's easy to see the point from which all of this originates.
White teethes, pearl, your mouth being the shell, let it open for the passer by, let it open for the friend nearby, let it open for a landslide.
Awe is the reaction, but awe is my reaction to you, an almost instantaneous reaction, because your wicked eyes, your charming smile, your wink from time to time, but most importantly your mouth opened in awe, just because you don't know how precious you are.

You just don't know how precious you are.
Your shoulder, flip flopping from one side to the other.
Your gentle breasts, ready to resemble mount everest, be climbed with a flag at the end saying "I was there".
I was not here, but I was embraced by those beautiful arms, such fine tuned machine you could never find.
Just like your stomach, inside there's just millions microbial flora, but my flower is just outside shining bright.
Your back too, often turned, but so full of facts, all these little bumps that make your spine, chills flowing throughout that.
You give me the chills just looking at your back.
Going there and back, what a joyride! Because you just don't know how precious you are.

You just don't know how precious you are.
From your waist down, down into ground, where life takes place, where the final ride is made.
Your legs, two of them support all this apparatus which is called a wife or a life with whine, those project you forward, up the mountain slide and into the realm of mine.
With those toes of yours, ten of 'em talking to each other, asking "who did fart" ? Because all of that is smelling bad.
Love, I love all your parts, from the toes, to arms, from the legs, to the brain, from the last hell ride, to the best angel smile, from the breasts who ask why to the hands who embraces thy.
This is what you're made of.
This is what I'm made of, without breasts and hell hole part.
So let's take part in human's best parts and travel to each other's heart.
Because you just don't know how precious you are.
This is a little present poem to celebrate the birthday of :iconakiko-sama: which you should all check out and congratulate because she's awesome!

You can listen to me live reading it on the 24th episode of my podcast that you can find here: [link]

Poem detailed explanation:

Well first of all I recommend you listen to at least the last 5 minutes of this video [link] to understand a bit more where I took my inspiration. The woman in question reads a letter that she wrote to friends and each letter was different and each letter didn't end, meaning that it could have continued for ever, and that's a pretty nice touch I think. Another nice touch is that the letter contains some nice and funny references that I wanted to have in my poem too. Then what really triggered my inspiration was when she said the sentence "You don't know how precious you are" just because most people don't know it, and in this period of hardship and depression and stuff people need to be reminded more often how precious and important they are to us.
Also you need to know that in this state of mind, I thought about writing it for a very dear friend who was having her birthday this past friday and thought that it would be a suitable present for her. I also wanted it to be a bit like the letters several different ones who don't have a clear ending. So I made it into 3 parts and decided that those 3 parts would describe the 3 parts of someone's body, so here it goes!
So first let's describe the top part: I wanted the tone of the poem to be kind of dramatic, but at the same time tell something, so to start with the eyes which as I said in the last episode is a part of the anatomy that I really like describing, I really think that the eyes are a window to the soul. And the most universal language is when you look into someone's eyes and you understand each other without even saying a word. Concerning the mouth, I though here about kissing I must admit. And considering the same universal language was used on this part, you also can understand someone by the way she kisses you, and the way she talks, and everything else that you can do using your mouth. To put a bit fantasy on it I linked both the mouth and the eyes in a single sentence, sort of a semi finish to say that I'm now going to talk about something else.
Next I wanted to say something about the nose, and because she draws her characters with such pronounced and pointed noses, I though it would only be fitting to describe her like that, and I took the summit that was formed by this unlikely nose form to make it look like a mountain where something must come from.
For the teeth part I inspired myself about advertisements for tooth paste, they always say something like "With this revolutionary toothpaste your teethes will become as white as a pearl" so I took that made it my own. Then it was only suitable to describe the mouth as the shell outside of the pearl, because one doesn't go without the other. Then again thinking about kissing, but in a different way, in a more friendly way, where you just do a little kiss on the cheek to say hello to someone, and why landslide, well I thought it rhymed well with the other words.
For the big finish, I took everything I described before, and also the fact that I really like this girl I'm talking about, so it was as if I was in awe each time I saw her, and I am in awe because of everything that I described before.

So that was for the first part, now let's go for the second one:
When you walk your shoulders kind of go down a bit one after the other, so that's what I wanted to say as flip flopping. Now it's the time to be a bit funny, so to describe the breasts, I thought that taking the same analogy as for the nose and make it look like a mountain was a good idea, and as there are nipples at the end I though it looked like a flag that would wave and show the pride of having been there. Then I made it a bit more personal saying that I didn't actually do that, but that I was embraced by the girl and only the fact that she could do that made me think that the body really must be a fined tuned machine, and that you could never replicate it.
Concerning the belly, I wanted to say something nice about it, and to be honest it's kind of hard to find something poetic to say about a stomach so I took the fact that in order to digest the food we eat, there are millions of microbes that dissolves the food and turn it into useful stuff for the body. Then I said that the flower I was most interested in was not inside, but it was outside, because flowers are pretty often beautiful and that's the way I see this girl.
Then going a bit on the other side of the body, talking about the major part that sustain the whole thing. Here I wanted two different descriptions, a proper one and a figurative one, so let's start with the proper one. The proper one is actually pretty straight forward, it's simply to turn your back to someone, to ignore it in fact. So when you don't like someone instead of going into a fight and argue with the person you just turn your back to him or her, and the issue is solved, that's the way I like it. Then for the figurative one I told myself well when you bend over you can clearly see that the spine has parts that go high and part that go low, and that by passing your hand over that you could count the vertebras, in the same way you can count it for your hands. And those tell a story, how you were made, if your back hurts, if you're agile enough to bend more than the usual, if you had an accident that touched your spine, etc…
Then I talked about chills, to link it with the awe part of before, a subtle linkage I must agree but with me being in awe and having the chills are two complementary things. And when I said that she give me the chills just looking at her back it's because it's so beautiful, it tells so many stories that my mind just goes into overdrive and that provokes the awe and chills. And to end this part, I needed something that rhymed so I decided to simulate in my mind a ride on that spine just like if it was a road, going one way and returning the same, that would make me so joyful that I had to share that in that way.

So now for the last part:
As I stopped at the stomach in the 2nd part it was only fitting that I continued down into the genitals, but I didn't want to call them that, or vagina, or anything of the common words that you normally associate with that part. So I compared it to a seed that you plan in a pot, and let it grow, just like when you make love and make a baby grow inside someone's belly. Also the final ride is made meaning that once you made love usually it's the last thing you do.
So now for the legs, I wanted something a bit special here, so I though well let's take the same idea of a well designed apparatus and apply it here too, then I thought well after the baby part your partner might very well be called a wife, or the baby which you carry is a life and it whines a lot so that's the image I wanted to share. Then after doing so much special stuff I came back to the obvious use of legs meaning to walk, and as I like this girl I would like her to come to me, which in a poetic way means, come to the realm of mine. Now a bit of fun, going to the toes, and it's a secret for nobody feet are often smelly, even more in these hot days of summer, so I wanted a little interaction there, so I put life into each toe, and made them ask who did fart because it smells bad, and I find that quite funny.
As there was nothing more to describe I wanted to finish with reminding everyone of everything I described and take each time one part from the top and one part from the bottom, to mix it up a bit, and also say that I love all of these parts, meaning I love the girl who has them. And for the grand finale, I wanted some emotions, with by revealing my love, and also some fun, saying that I'm like her without the 2 distinctive parts a girl has. And for me humans best part is love, and engaging in it, is really what it is all about, because when you love someone you just want her to be next to you all the time.
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:iconsupersuki:
SuperSuki Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010
wow... nice work, man... such a great song just for a woman's bday :D omg! i wants alsooo
Reply
:icontursiops33:
tursiops33 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for such nice comment.
Maybe one day someone will write someone like that for you, you never know ^^
Reply
:iconakiko-sama:
akiko-sama Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2010
what else can I say than lovely!

the end is really nice! it has a touch of sweetness to it in a way. Gosh thank you sooooooooooooo much again <3
I'm seriously speechless
I don't know what to say :heart:
Reply
:icontursiops33:
tursiops33 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad that the whole thing pleases you, now I'm going to record the detailed explanation to all this, so that you can understand a bit better what went through my mind when I wrote it.
Reply
:iconakiko-sama:
akiko-sama Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2010
I'll check the whole thing out today
I listened to half of it but then got distracted by mom or granny or the phone... well yeah I haven't been able to listen to it till the end yet :/
Reply
:icontursiops33:
tursiops33 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
hehe ^^ aaaaah all those distractions ^^ lol
Reply
:iconakiko-sama:
akiko-sama Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2010
they're a sinn I tell you! xDD
Reply
:iconakiko-sama:
akiko-sama Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2010
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww >/////////////////<

damn I don't know what to say!!! I curently feel so happy and strange and happy and squeaky and... lol ok sorry it's getting weird to read this I know but I'm so excited. Seriously altho this day was rather shitty all these b-day wishes made my day! especially this poem! it's so nice and...... NICE! hahah sorry I know I know so many awesome and different words to describe my feelings atm haha xD

really a nice part! now I can't await the other ones/two!

I loved the "white teeth, pearl" part

also to point out a writting mistake
it's not teethes it's only teeth if I'm not mistaken but I'm pretty sure tho :)

really lovely!

thank you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so... so so so much! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
Reply
:icontursiops33:
tursiops33 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I'm happy to see that you like what I wrote. You'll get the second part today and the final part tomorrow :D
Yeah I was pretty inspired that day ^^
Teethes exists, it's in the dictionary: [link]

Enjoy every day you have, so that every day is a good one!
Reply
:iconakiko-sama:
akiko-sama Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2010
ahhh can't wait!!!

hahah seriously? I didn't know that one! never even heard of it x'D
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